Social media is a bit like alcohol. It releases inhibitions. So people tend to do a lot of things that they wouldn't in real life ... Also, a lot of users see it primarily as a marketing tool. Many of these people are not remotely interested in interaction. They just want you to buy their stuff and that's it. The irony is that if they did embrace the interaction they would make more sales.

Because of these influences you get a lot of behaviour that is actually anti-social. Pretty depressing given the context.

Some people can't stand automated DMs on Twitter. But I think they're fine as long as they're just a thank you. But when they ask for likes, etc, that can annoy me a bit.

And it's not just the automated DMs. Sometimes they'll write you one referring to your conversation, asking you to do something for them or buy their services. They do it immediately, too. That smacks of desperation which really puts me off.

Another pet peeve is when someone you've just connected with on Twitter asks you a question like "How are you?" as if they want to actually start a conversation. Then you look at their stream and see they're doing exactly the same thing with everyone. They've probably even got some software to do it. 

I find that even more irksome because they clearly know engagement is key, but they're not doing it in a genuine way. So it's calculating as well as insincere.

I think the key element I find off-putting is selfishness -- people using these platforms to just say gimme, gimme, gimme! These are often minor things but they do accumulate and you end up with a lower threshold of tolerance for them. 

Recently, for example, some guy liked a comment I made in a Linkedin group discussion that referred to a post from his blog. So he sent me a message asking me to write the very same comment on the blog to beef up the interaction!

Another practice that gets my goat is when people go overboard with the cross promotion. They tweet you to a Google Plus update ... which sends you to a Tumblr post ... that points you to a Facebook page update ... that finally links to their blog post! Why not just send people to the post directly?

I know they're just trying to get their other profiles known. But doing it this way just wastes people's time and effort. 

I know I'm starting to sound like a bit of a grouch. But there are still more things that peeve me. Private Twitter accounts, for example. I often follow people back but not if they've got that little padlock icon. It seems petty and even a tad paranoid to me. If you were a whistleblower or a citizen journalist in some totalitarian country, sure. But not if you're just tweeting about stuff generally. Why such an intense need for control? 

Another biggie -- and one that I'm sure many people can relate to -- is being added to Facebook groups without your consent, often by people you've had little or no interaction with aside from the initial connection. 

Still on Facebook: I don't like it when people repeatedly suggest that I connect with their friends. Not so bad if I share an interest. But for personal, friendly connections it can get a bit OTT after a while. I feel like saying to them: Don't you get it? I'm not interested!

Another thing that annoys me on Facebook is when people like my page, then immediately say in a comment (or worse still, in a message) that they want me to like theirs. After a while, that gets a bit tiresome even when they're in the same niche as me. And if their page has nothing in common with mine, and I'm not interested in what theirs is about, that annoys me.

Basically, I won't like a page unless I'm interested in it. And I don't expect the owner to like mine back -- although of course it's always nice when that happens. But being demanding is just rude. 

I suppose that people do this because it does work for them and their numbers improve. But apart from the fact that this is pushy, it's always better to focus on quality over quantity (both in terms of content shared and the nature of the following itself).  

When it comes to these etiquette issues I think a good rule of thumb is that if you'd feel uncomfortable approaching people in a certain way in real life then don't do it on a social network!

If you want to lift your profile as a blogger and build your authority then it's really important to connect with influential bloggers in your niche. But remember that they already have heaps of people trying to do that. You have to stand out in some way, and do it without being pushy or spammy. 

A good way to do this is to get on their radar in different ways. They're bound to be on social media, and almost all of them are on Twitter. So you should follow them there. If they do follow you back that's a good sign, but it's only the beginning. All it means is that they have seen your profile and have quickly decided you're worth following back. They still don't really know who you are. 

If they don't follow back, no matter. You can still get on their radar eventually.

What you should do in both cases is retweet their tweets from time to time. And you should also mention them. Again, it's a good sign if they reply or thank you. 

Now at the same time you should start appearing in their comment threads. Make sure that you offer really good, relevant insights, of course. Then make sure to tweet each post you contribute to, including their handle in it so they get notified on Twitter as well. 

It's this double whammy effect that will make you stand out amongst their many followers and commenters. 

Of course you can go a bit overboard with this. It would border on creepy if you did it absolutely every time they wrote a blog post! But if you did it once or twice a week for a month, then had a break, then did it again for a while it wouldn't seem desperate. And they'd have a very good idea of who you are, what you do and they will almost certainly have looked at your blog. 

Unless they're super-picky and only follow other A-listers on Twitter then you'll probably have them following you back if they didn't before, too. Also, they may even mention you in a tweet and or/post as one of their top engagers/commenters. And if they do offer guest posts on their blog then you'll be much more likely to have your submission accepted (as long as it's good, of course!).

I've decided to get back into blog commenting in a big way. I know it works if done well. And I do want to build some momentum with this blog. 

The main reason is that I have chosen an extremely crowded niche, so I have been getting very little search engine traffic to it. Social media has been a more fruitful avenue, though it's taken a lot of work and time before I've seen some benefit. 

But I've long known that quality blog commenting is perhaps the most reliable method of bringing in some clicks pretty quickly -- not to mention the indirect, long term benefits it brings. Still, I haven't done any for ages until just recently. I've been reluctant to do it for some reason ... 

I think it's got to do with the fact that I come from a writing background. Whenever I start putting my thoughts down online I'm thinking I've got to turn what I'm saying into a reasoned, thoughtful article of a few hundred words that people will hopefully enjoy reading. And this tends to happen even when I'm commenting on a blog.

I start by replying to the blogger, then I sort of forget about him and think of this imaginary audience. Then quite often I decide not to submit the comment, then cut and paste what I'm writing into a file for later use as the basis for a blog article! 

That's all well and good. I do use this stuff from time to time. But if I do that too often it means that I'm losing the benefits of a concerted commenting campaign. 

So I've decided that I've got to change my attitude to what blog commenting actually is. It's not so much writing in the traditional, purist sense. It's just a conversation with one person that others can read if they wish.

Since I've made that shift I've found it a lot easier to get into commenting again and follow through with my contributions. I'm not being miserly with my words any more.

After all, I wouldn't have the same problem if I was just chatting with someone about a subject we both share an interest in. So it makes no sense to do so if I am responding to a blog post online, in writing. 

Just a note to say that I have installed the Disqus commenting system on this blog. It's got so many advantages over the default system for Weebly. Actually, it's almost a social network in itself. And there are just so many sites that have it installed now. 

It has benefits whether you're a blogger or a commenter. If you're a blog commenter, for example, you can keep track of conversations that you're having on other blogs much better because when people reply to your Disqus comments you get notified so you can reply again or just say thanks. 

This doesn't happen on many other systems. Unless you keep going back to all the blogs you've been commenting on, you're bound to miss some replies to your comments. The bloggers in question may end up thinking you've "dropped the ball", so to speak, or that you were just commenting to drop your link.

If you're blogger it's great too because you can keep out the spam. And you can use it to find many other great blogs through your dashboard ... 

So I'm looking forward to getting more discussion around my posts. This new commenting system will help that. It will also encourage me to do more commenting generally. That's something I've neglected for a long while. Basically, I have only had the time and energy to write posts occasionally here. But I know from experience that commenting on other blogs is probably the best way to get some interaction happening on your own. So I really should get into that. 

My only misgiving is that by installing Disqus I've now erased all the previous comments from the posts. (They haven't been deleted entirely, of course. They're just not visible to readers.) There weren't many, but I feel a bit bad about it because people took the time to offer their thoughts. So, sorry to those people. Please be assured that I did appreciate your contributions. 

Any other bloggers using Disqus? If so, what are your thoughts on it? 

We all know that content is king, and that you should be cranking out as many top notch blog posts as possible. Similarly, you should be actively sharing great content -- both your own and that of other people -- on social networks. And when commenting on these sites offering thoughtful, relevant thoughts is always best. 

There's no doubt that this strategy will be more beneficial than any other. Still, it's hard to keep up those high standards indefinitely. Some days you just don't have the energy to come up with an insightful blog post or offer any helpful tips on Twitter. 

Now, if you feel like that you could just have a break. And you should do that from time to time, of course. But you don't want to make a habit of that. It's really important to keep the momentum up if you can. If you can grab a few minutes to be active on social media it's still worth it, even if what you do is pretty perfunctory. 

Now I'm not recommending being slopping or spammy. I'm just pointing out the fact that merely logging in and liking stuff is bringing you some algorithmic "cool points" -- not to mention keeping your profile in front of your followers. 

Take Linkedin. The groups are a great place to learn and get known by other members. Merely liking some of the content being shared means that your profile photo appears in the side bar for a while. Now if it's a really big group with heaps of members, a few likes in a row might get seen by dozens of people. Before too long hundreds will have seen you this way. Sure enough a certain percentage of those will eventually check out your profile, and a few will even send a connection request. 

That's why it's a also good idea to look at the profiles of others in your niche on Linkedin. They'll get a notification that you did. Some will have a look at you. And some of the ones that have will send you a connection request, particularly if they've seen you elsewhere on the site -- in the groups for example!

Then there's Facebook. If you like another page's updates as your page, your handle is visible. And if a user mouses over it, he gets a preview of your page. So, again, lots of liking -- particularly on busy pages -- gets you seen by many people over the long term. Some are sure to like your page. And even if they don't they still know about you, right?

So, every little bit helps, as they say. Try to engage in some social media activity every day, even if it's just minor stuff. It's still worth it in the long run. 

With Facebook pages and other social media accounts it's important to add lots of content that is very specific to what you do. As well as keeping you appearing in your followers' streams, doing this really really helps you build your authority in your niche. To this end, you want to make this shared content good quality, of course. 

But I don't think it's a good idea to focus too relentlessly on the same topic. You can run out of good stuff apart from anything else. And it can make your stream look uniform. If you only ever share content about blogging and traffic generation for example, well, that can get a little boring.

And you do want your personality to come through, remember. It is social media, after all. You want people to get to know you as a person a bit, and consequently warm to you. 

That's why there's much to be said for including other kinds of content from time to time -- ideally with wide appeal. It's not unlike the 80:20 rule which advises that one fifth of what you share be promotional, and the rest be entertaining, useful or informative.

So, of that non-promotional content, most of it should be niche-specific, of course. But more general stuff adds variety. Wisdom quotes from famous writers and thinkers go really well, for example. No one can deny the insights of great minds, which is why people enjoy them so much. You'll see these all through social media.

Then there are those inspirational quotes that keep you motivated and looking on the bright side. Some influencers on Facebook who use these a lot are Kim Garst, Edmund Lee and Adrienne Smith. It's quite remarkable how much of this kind of content they share. And they wouldn't do it unless it worked!

This kind of stuff goes very well with visual depictions, too. Uplifting quotes combined with appealing images of eagles soaring, flowers in bloom and the like give people a small but undeniable lift. So they get shared a lot.

Of course this approach isn't for everyone. If it's not your thing, then you shouldn't do it. Still, there's much to be learned from this tactic. It's definitely worth pondering what kind of content that you enjoy has wide appeal and can also be expressed visually. It might take a while to work out what that is. But when you do you'll be onto something very useful.